Saturday, July 25, 2009

Harry Potter HBP. Disappointment? I think so.

*WARNING!!! MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN OR READ THE SIXTH HARRY POTTER MOVIE/BOOK, GO BACK NOW!! I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING THE MOVIE/BOOK FOR YOU!! ALSO, THERE WILL BE MAJOR BASHING ON THE DIRECTOR/ACTORS/PRODUCERS/CHARACTERS/SCRIPT WRITERS AND FANS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED BY ASHIKO!*

Ok. I have been dying to see the new movie Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince for a while now. Every one's been saying, "OH! It's going to be the best one yet! There's gonna be more violence and gore in it! It's going to be bloody fantastic!!!" Well, to those people I say I say, "YOU'RE BLOODY WELL WRONG!!!!" I HATED the F***** movie! It sucked!! Mind you, there were some parts of the movie I found funny and laughed at. But overall, the movie sucked by comparison of the book. If you were to look at it all on it's own...I'd still say it sucked. And it all started from the first scene. In the book, the ex-Minister of Magic is supposed to talk to the Muggle Minister of England and show how they both exchanged words and how they cooperated with one another to keep the world in balance. The stupid writers took that out. That I never really cared for. It would have been cool to see, but, really, to me, that didn't really seem to be very important to the story. It's the next scene in the book and the first scene in the movie that piss me off. WTF was Harry doing outside in an underground restaurant flirting with waitresses, when he's supposed to be in danger of death eaters?

And what was up with the death eaters randomly flying from the sky, destroying everything in sight? Ok, yes, I admit that was a little cool, but it made no sense! Harry shouldn't be out picking up random muggle chicks to see if he can get some before he can die like the prophecy says. Although, I was a bit glad when Dumbledore came out of nowhere and took Harry out of there leaving the poor bitch to look for him. I laughed to myself and thought, 'Ha ha! You ain't getting some tonight, Harry!' So KUDOS to Dumbledore! I was really disappointed, however, that Dumbledore didn't get to diss the Dusleys. What was up with that! That would have been funny as hell! An ancient wizard up against a whale of a muggle, and winning the battle? Pure gold right there! But, it didn't happen. Instead of waiting for a wise, intimidating man to verbally attack the Dursleys, we get a perverted old man, staring at an ad for perfume held by a half naked girl in the subtrain.....That's great....A good influence for children everywhere....Like I don't get enough of those people on street corners...

The next few scenes go rather well with the book, except for the lack of Fleur Decleur and Bill Weasley. Where the hell are they?! Aren't they supposed to be in this movie, planning there wedding and annoying the hell out of Molly Weasley?! Major disappointment there. I'm not saying that Fleur is one of my favorite characters, but it would have been a great comic relief in this film. How are they going to explain a wedding in the next movie? 'Oh well, I know that Voldemort is alive and kicking and killing everyone in sight, and even more now that Dumbledore is dead. But we decided we love each other so much, we couldn't wait any longer and decided to get married right away!' The lack of Bill Weasley will also affect the last scene, which I will get to in a moment.

First off though, what was up with the train scene? Wasn't Slughorn supposed to ask a bunch of people over to his compartment for a meeting of some sort? Well, that type of thing is always overlooked, but still, and then, we get to meet the mysterious Blaise Zabini....

He looked dead to me....He had no emotion on his face, which I guess is why he became a death eater. And then there's Pansy Parkinson....Is that the same girl from movie 3? They look different. Oh, well, who cares about her.

The scene I want to talk about is where Draco spots Harry in his compartment with the invisibility cloak on him. I keep asking myself to this very day...WTH didn't Malfoy take the cloak with him!?!? I would have! There was no one around! No one was going to check the compartments! Or maybe I'm just not that intelligent enough. Now that I think about it, someone COULD have checked and seen a petrified, bloody Harry Potter...But still, this is Draco Malfoy we're talking about. A younger Malfoy would have taken it...I guess being a Death Eater means you get smarter...maybe I can get the dark mark before my next math test....?

Ok, why didn't they make Tonks find Harry in the next scene? Why was Luna there? I love
Luna, she's awesome, but she isn't supposed to be there. It's supposed to be Tonks, depressed
about her problematic love life, not already with Remus. Which brings me to my next point, a bit
too quickly, but this has been picking on my brain for weeks. In the scene where Harry and Ron
go to the Burrow for Christmas, why the hell were they randomly attacked by Bellatrix and the
feral werewolf whose name is too hard and complicated for me to remember? Why destroy the
burrow at all?! Was the burrow supposed to be destroyed at all!? Did the writers just get bored
and say, 'Hey! Let's destroy something that has no part in the book whatsoever and piss off all of
the harry potter fans and make them kill us!'?" Really...what were the writers thinking?

And what is with that Lavendar Brown chick? Hell, her name is never even mentioned in the movie! It's as if they just expect us to know her name right off the bat. What about the poor should who have never read the book!? Think about them! And I really, really hated her....She acted like a fan girl than a clingy girl friend...That was just wrong. She was sooo annoying. And she didn't cry as much. I was hoping for more crying. However, that line with Dumbledore when he say, "Ah! To be in young and in love!" had me cracking up.

He certainly became more eccentric in this film. Not to mention a bit senile at times. Why would he mention liking knitting patterns? Oh Dumbledore! You kill me!

Which brings me to another point. What's with the crappy memories? There was supposed to be more memories which explain why Voldemort came to be. Like his witch mother and how she used love potion to be with his muggle father. And how it all went array. Nothing about his past and his bitterness against muggles. And there isn't a lot shown about the book owned by the Half Blood Prince. It was all, "Where did you get that?" and "Maybe it's evil?" and that's it. No one really gives a damn about the book.

And what was up with Harry and drinking the entire Felix potion. I was wondering, why he drank the whole thing when he was only supposed to drink a little bit. I found out later, he didn't exactly need which I will talk about at the end of this rant. You never know that Argon died and Hagrid wishes Harry, Ron, and Hermione to come to his funeral. Harry just drinks the potion and says, "I think I'll go see what Hagrid is doing," and BOOM! You get an eyeful of a giant dead spider in your face. I did laugh when Harry did an impersonation of a giant, angry spider, though. It was so out of character of him, it was funny. So was the part where Hagrid and Slughorn get drunk and keep saying, "Poof," along with Harry. That was funny.

Now, onto more important matters. The kiss scene with Ginny and Harry....NO...just....no...It happened too fast! I close my eyes to blink, when I open them, Ginny and Harry were sucking face, alone, in the Room of Requirements! That's not supposed to happen! They're not supposed to find the cursed cabinet! Or were they? I don't think Ginny was supposed to be in the room at all! And what was that kiss about!? That DEFINETLY wasn't supposed to happen! Cut that out of the movie! DO OVER! I demand a recount! They were supposed to kiss after winning the Quidictch Cup in front of her ex boyfriend and all their friends! The same kiss that was given to Ron and Lavender, apparently....Ugh...*shudders* That was horrible. They were supposed to have som sort of relationship before Harry dumped her to go after the horcruxes.

And then, of course, we get to the last scenes. Not the part where they are in the cave, but the part where they are in the Hogwarts tower. Dumbledore just tells Harry to wait downstairs. WHAT?! They make Harry seem like a fu**** coward! Stay hidden and quiet? Really? He's supposed to petrified by Dumbledore to keep him from disobeying him! Harry doesn't actually follow orders! He needs to be bounded not to keep from killing Draco!! Harry's a bloody coward in this movie.

And the disappointment of the year. The big battle at the end of the movie....or it was supposed to be...There was nothing. Only a few death eaters come out of the cabinet just so they can go out and spread fire to Hagrid's hut....That's it?! Where the fighting?!? The battle scenes!?!? Bill getting bitten by a half werewolf!?!? I want half werewolf biting somewhere in here!!! I want bloodshed! I want people flying every where, and not just that one random guy being flown out of the hall by Bellatrix! I want a full out battle between good and evil!!! That should be my reward for staying in my seat for two hours and thirty three minutes with my butt falling asleep and not killing the woman who wouldn't stop talking throughout the whole movie!!!!! DAMMIT I WANT A BATTLE OF BLOOD SHED, NOT A BUNCH OF WANDS GLOWING IN THE SKY, MAKING THE DARK MARK DISAPPEAR!! AND NOT OF HARRY YELLING AT SNAPE TO "COME BACK AND FIGHT!!!"

*pants heavily* and that concludes my three hour long rant on a movie that's only two hours long. hope you didn't kill yourselves by reading this. If you haven't, great! keep reading my blog. Now you can go now. Go away....Why are you still here? Go away, get a life. Stop reading this, I mean it....I meant it, stop reading and go to bed! You think this is going on forever don't you? Well your wrong, there is no more. It's all done now.....

In 3......

2......

1.


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